6/2/2026
A Little More
Yesterday was a pretty fulfilling day with my girlfriend. We went out to eat, went to the mall, got our pictures taken in the photo booth (we had absolutely no plan for poses lmaooo), and we tried to hit this local bookstore but they were closed yet again. After all of that, we went back to my house. We mainly just cuddled for the majority of the time, but throughout our entire day, I had noticed that her mood was a little off.
And so I kept asking her if she was ok, just over and over again all day long. In my past relationships, I was always so terrified of my partner not telling me the truth about what they were feeling, and I would do this exact same thing. I need to stop asking if she is ok several times in a row. If she chooses not to tell me her feelings, that is entirely her choice, and I should trust her to communicate her feelings to me if they will affect our relationship. She even did that yesterday too.
I had told her while we were in my bed at home that I wanted to do our monthly "relationship check-in" where we essentially just ask each other if there are any gripes, issues, or anything of the sort that we want the other to address, fix, or stop. It went smoothly, with her telling me that I speak to loudly in reastaurants and that was about it. However, I opened up to her about how I wanted her to speak to me about her emotions more. She understood and we went on with cuddling and whatnot.
After some time, she told me she had an issue about how socks never feel right on her feet and that they often irritate her. I asked her if that was why she had been a bit off during our date and she said yes. I was really happy and openly grateful that she had opened up to me about how she was feeling. It meant a lot to me that she took my advice immediately to heart and told me why he mood had been off all day. After this, we cuddled more and we had a good time after that.
I've always had an issue being super physically sexual in past relationships, and like I said in my last post, I get super scared that I'll scare her off with being too focused on intimacy. That is something that I really need to address, and I have! But again, I don't think I have done enough in that department. Should I probably have waited to start a relationship with her until I had made more progress with this issue? Most definitely, but now I am much too far into this to back out--and I don't wantto back out. She is a very lovely girl and I love her kid, he is a super great kid, they just really need to stop seeing the baby daddy (hopefully she gets full custody like she wants!).
Today though, I had work with my new client in the morning and I'm just wasting time away until I have my second client later this evening. My new client is a great kid, we're just doing pairing this week though. I was supposed to have supervision with my BCBA, but her kids weren't feeling too great the night before so she overselpt; totally okay! It was slightly upsetting, but it really wasn't anything to worry about. When I got home, I heated up some fried rice I had made (added wayyy too many chili peppers) and continued my rewatch of Better Call Saul. After some time, grandpa's wound nurses came along but the big man was still asleep, so I had to wake him up and then I scurried downstairs, where I am now typing this blog.
I know what I need to do, I always have, but it has always been really hard to actually do it. Going onward, I will work on my restraint, self-dscipline, and overall attitude.
Onward and upward,
✎𓂃Whodisyphus